How to disappear completely


You wish there was nothing
but paradise
in the holes of the earth,
open doors all around.
Instead, the hollow soul
of the pavement calls: hurry,
hurry up, before you are swallowed.
You are ashamed because
you do not know if it is just sadness
that makes the sewer drains seem bigger.

And there are burn holes
in the living room carpet:
your father’s discarded cigarettes.
Holes in the sinks.
The bathroom mirror is a hole too.
When you look in, teeth
stare back. Behind this,
more bruised mirrors.

When you turn the lights off
your body becomes a hole
in the darkness. You are almost
not there.

And when you sleep,
you dream you are a door
becoming a hole, fist-sized,
big enough to let
anything in.

Β© 2006 Christine Klocek-Lim