How to shop online

Whatever you do, avoid falling for’s heart-pounding message:

Wait! Add $1.75 to your order to qualify for FREE Super Saver Shipping.

I need two new calendars. I procrastinated. Squinting at the miniature January that appears on all December 2005 calendars is bad for the eyes, by the way.

Thus, my foray onto Amazon and my nail-biting refusal to succumb to FREE Super Saver Shipping. I searched for 45 minutes for that perfect, under $5 item to add to my cart. I searched in vain. I bought my calendars and paid for shipping: $4.98.

It hurt a lot. Even now the faint, nagging thought that I did wrong festers in the back of my head. . .